I was recently inspired by slam poetry, and therefore decided to just let the words flow. Feel free to - and please - submit responses, editing, suggestions, etc. Here's what came from free thought and little editing:
I hate you.
Your promises squeeze
at my life, my blood,
and gnaw my soul, before
digesting it in rotting
acrid acid and lustful lies.
I hate you
My love, my dear,
I'd never leave you.
You protect me -
from life and reality
and keep me safe in
my anorexic box of
starvation and mutilation
until I disappear: a
wisp of a soul, taught
skin and loose hair.
I hate you
for all you have
harmed and tortured with
peanut butter and lettuce,
and yet equally with
love and adventure;
for fucking with
our minds and stomachs and hearts;
for killing us.
I hate you.
I refuse to be so,
so jailed and celled
and perfect and compact.
I refuse to be
safe and secure,
restful and asleep, while
stars blaze and spin in
white heat.
I refuse.
Because I hate you.
You are such a spark. This is great, Kirsten.
ReplyDeleteTopic aside, the line breaks give me chills. They're not really where one would expect them to fall, so it's really fascinating. I can't get over them.
It's good you didn't take the poem apart before giving it a chance to breathe-- really editing it would only detract from it. I like that you kept it raw and real. But with the way you word things, your work never comes off as a rough draft sort of deal anyhow.
I really like this. I like seeing the strength in you. My one negative comment is that I'm upset I couldn't see this slammed out, but I bet you if you read this out loud, even just to yourself, it would be quite a liberating experience.
-sophie